Thursday 23 October 2014

Tired, Possibly Emotional, Watching Badgers

Over the years while I was working, I heard lots and lots of differing reasons why people were unable to come into the office due to some ailment, illness or injury, ranging from the probable to the implausible, from the genuine influenza to the unlikely one day flu. But in all those years I never heard of anyone claiming that they were unable to work because they were too tired (someone once phoned to say they felt "too weak" to come in, but that was an exception). In fact the only profession that I know of where feeling tired is considered a reasonable excuse for not being able to perform is ironically one in which fitness is assumed, that is professional football.

England recently played a Euro 2016 qualifier in Estonia and Liverpool's Raheem Sterling might reasonably have been expected to play, but no, he warmed the bench before participating in just the final 24 minutes. England manager Roy Hodgson was quoted as saying Sterling was "complaining that he was a little bit tired and not feeling his best so we decided not to risk him." The old argument, whether professional footballers should ever be too tired to play, has been rehearsed many, many times over the years and all playing football at that level is a job, just like working in a bank or a factory is a job. I can just imagine how sympathetic the manager of a car manufacturing plant would be if one of his workers rang in to say he was too tired to come to work.  "Get your a@*e in here now," would be the likely response.

Raheem Sterling: Too tired to play football. Picture: The Sun

You can tell that professional football is just a job to many players at the highest level when you look at how many are happy enough to sit on the bench and pick up their wages and not actually play very often. Perhaps I am being naive, but I would have thought that being a professional footballer would mean that you wanted to play at every opportunity, but apparently not. Like many boys, I dreamed of a career as a professional footballer when I was young, although I realised fairly soon that I would never be good enough, however had I have been I'm sure I would have just wanted to play, play and play.

Just as "tired and emotional" is a well known euphemism for inebriation,[1] so "tired" alone has, I am certain, been used on more than one occasion within football as a roundabout way of indicating a player's unavailability for some other, perhaps delicate, reason. Many years ago I recall a story (which may have been apocryphal) of a player with a major club who picked something up following some Ugandan discussions[2] and whose subsequent availability was described as being due to a groin strain (so not too far from the truth then).

The late George Brown, for whom "tired and emotional" was coined. 

Euphemisms are a rich source of humour and two of my favourites are "watching badgers" which was an expression used by Welsh Secretary Ron Davies after being photographed on Clapham Common whilst engaged in sexual activity with a stranger, and "economical with the truth" which requires no explanation, but I digress.



All of us of a certain age look back and think that various aspects of life were better twenty, thirty or forty years ago (depending upon our age), so it is easy to look at professional sport in general and football in particular and, through rose tinted spectacles, pick out the parts that are wanting compared with the good old days. Today the clubs in the Premier League have squads of 25 players, many of whom train, pick up their wages, sit on the bench but play infrequently. Compared with their predecessors, today's players are fitter, better prepared and required to do much less so it is little wonder that complaints of tiredness are met with such scepticism, particularly when in Sterling's case it has been reported that just a day after he was too tired to play football, he was energetic enough to go out nightclubbing until the early hours.

Before anyone accuses me of picking on Raheem Sterling, or indeed of suggesting that there was anything dubious about his claim to be tired, I am not. I have no reason to suppose that his tiredness was anything other than genuine, although since he is not twenty until next month he really should be as fit as he is ever going to be. To put things in perspective however, when Manchester United's Bill Foulkes was that age he combined playing for his club and the England Under 23 side with part-time work in a coal mine. I doubt that Foulkes ever missed a game due to tiredness; there again I doubt that Foulkes ever saw the inside of a nightclub either.

Bill Foulkes, Manchester United legend and part-time coal miner. Picture: football365

Come Easter there will no doubt be Premier League managers bleating about the "punishing schedule" that requires the delicate flowers who play for them to participate in two games in five or perhaps four days. Back in December 2013 Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger said it was "horrendous" that his team had to play six games in 23 days. It is fortunate that Arsene doesn't manage a non-League team, many of whom play as many as eight, nine or even ten games in the that number of days at the end of the season following a winter of postponements. And these are players who hold down full-time jobs outside the game too. Are they tired? Yes, probably, but they get on with it.

Thoughts of tiredness probably entered the heads of the Aston Villa players' heads when they won the old First Division championship in 1981, but that didn't stop seven of them playing all 42 league games. They didn't have a squad of 25, they used only fourteen players in League games that season. Their manager at the time, Ron Saunders, was very much of the old school type of manager who would have given short shrift to any of his players who complained of being tired. What he might have said about Raheem Sterling being tired in October would have been interesting!





[1] See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tired_and_emotional if you are unfamiliar with this term.
[2] Google it for more information on the expression.

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