Eat, Drink...and Be Miserable

"Eat, drink and be merry," they say; don't eat, don't drink, be miserable more like.

I really don't know what I should eat or drink anymore. The media is full of a constant stream of health advice that one day suggests that something is good for you but the next that it is bad for you. I realise that this is exciting news for The Daily Mail and The Daily Express, whose front pages are rarely without some story on the benefits or risks to health of one thing or another, but to us ordinary people, well it is thoroughly confusing.

Take coffee for instance. Coffee can improve energy levels, helps burn fat, lowers the risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes, can protect against Alzheimer's disease and dementia, may lower the risk of Parkinson's disease, can protect the liver, lowers the risk of liver and colorectal cancers, does not cause heart disease and may lower the risk of having a stroke and is the biggest source of antioxidants in the Western diet. On the other hand there is evidence to suggest that it may contribute to ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome; that it may cause heartburn, may adversely affect the performance of your kidneys and is potentially carcinogenic.

Then there is wine, which can promote longevity, reduce the risk of heart disease and of Type 2 Diabetes, strokes, cataracts and colon cancer and can slow brain decline. Conversely, wine can apparently significantly increase the risk of mouth or throat cancer, can cause liver damage, corrode brain cells, and cause impotence and birth defects.

Next up we have sugar and salt, both of which have been in the news recently and have come in for a thorough pasting from the World Health Organisation (WHO) and the Department of Health (DoH) respectively.

The WHO have warned that we should cut our sugar intake to the equivalent of five teaspoons per day because studies show that diets high in sugar are linked to diabetes, kidney disease, cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer's and premature ageing. But on the other hand, sugar is essential in providing our bodies with energy, is proven not to contribute to the risk of diabetes if consumed moderately  and contains minerals and nutrients that we all need. Who do you believe? The problem with the WHO idea that sugar consumption be limited to five teaspoons or less per day is how on earth do you do that? Every day I drink at least six cups of tea; each one contains a teaspoon of sugar. I have tried drinking tea without sugar and I simply cannot do it. I could switch to coffee because I take that sans sucre, but I can only realistically enjoy one or maybe two cups of java a day before the caffeine gives me the jitters.

Refined, white and deadly

So let us say that I either stop taking sugar in my tea, or more realistically stop drinking it at all. As alternatives most soft drinks are out of the question as a can of Coke has seven teaspoons of sugar and a large glass of orange juice has five.  Hang on, I can make a smoothie with an orange, a banana and some blueberries; perhaps a bit of ginger to pep it up. No, sorry that is the equivalent of thirteen and a half teaspoons right there in one go. So, that's me drinking nothing but water today then.

So what's for breakfast? Some cornflakes (two and a half teaspoons) and some semi-skimmed milk (negligible). Wow, that's something. Now, lunchtime and a cheese sandwich is only one teaspoon! Whoopee, this is easier than I thought, half the day gone and I've only got to three and a half teaspoons, I have a whole teaspoon and a half left! And that's where it goes wrong. Some fresh pasta, broccoli, carrots and peas in a tomato sauce is four and a half teaspoons. I'm over the limit now, so no crisps or chocolate as a treat later...and I still can't have a cup of tea.

But isn't this five teaspoons a day a bit arbitrary anyway? The much vaunted "5 A Day" initiative in which we are all encouraged to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day is a fairly random amount and in any case five bananas would be equivalent to 35 teaspoons of sugar; how can I square my fruit intake with my sugar consumption? It is apparently irreconcilable.

Baked beans, one of your five a day but all five teaspoons of your sugar allowance.

What about salt? Everyone knows that salt is not good for you, don't they? The DoH have started a drive to cut salt levels in food and it is difficult to disagree when you see just how much salt (and sugar for that matter) that most processed foods contain. And of course salt is linked to hypertension, abnormal heart development, osteoporosis, kidney disorders, dehydration and digestive diseases. On the other hand though, salt stabilises irregular heartbeat, balances sugar levels, prevents gout and some forms of arthritis, helps kidney processes, strengthens bone structure and maintains muscle tone. Salt, like sugar is an essential part of our diet but only, like so many other things, in sensible quantities.

Two of the key factors in maintaining a healthy diet are balance and the incidence of processed foods. Processed foods like the supermarket ready meal and the takeaway abound in salt, sugar and various artificial additives. While the occasional frozen lasagne or takeaway kebab aren't going to make you instantly keel over and expire, a constant diet of them might. A diet laden in sugar intake from fizzy drinks, biscuits, cakes and sweets is not going to keep you healthy but a special treat now and then is not going to be harmful. There is a world of difference between the sugars that occur naturally in fruit and the refined, white and deadly stuff that processed foods contain. Not that one may consume any amount of foodstuffs with naturally occurring sugars of course, if for no other reason than that acids and sugars in fruit may still cause tooth decay.

Reducing our consumption of things like salt and sugar are particularly difficult in that these are "hidden" ingredients in many foods. Yes, the label on the packet tells you how much salt and how much sugar there is in a serving, but do we ever sit down, read the labelling and calculate how much we have already consumed that day and therefore whether or not we really ought to eat that last slice of pizza? No, we do not. What we do (or at least what we ought to do) is take a holistic approach, ensuring that our diets are well balanced and not over burdened with foods and drinks that may be harmful. As the saying goes, moderation in all things.

 While salt and sugar are very much flavour of the month as far as food evils are concerned, it is very likely that next month another study will show that we should reduce our intake of carbohydrates, or of proteins, of potatoes or past, of red meat or eggs. Eventually we shall become so scared of the contents of our kitchen cupboards, so scared that a killer lurks in our fridges that we will be reduced to living on fresh air if it were not for the fact that fresh air is a killer because of the levels sulphur dioxide, carbon monoxide and lead.

The killer in your kitchen.

Frankly all of these health stories are so contradictory, so arbitrary, that I have little faith in them and prefer to trust my own judgement. I know too much sugar is bad for me, but moderately consumed it is essential. Same goes for salt and some types of fat. The diktats of the WHO or the DoH, well intentioned though they are, are unlikely to have an effect on the sort of person who eats nothing but takeaways and who is a stranger to fresh vegetables while those who will take notice are probably already complying to some degree anyway.

The next time there is a health story that suggests that I should abstain from something or significantly reduce my intact of something I'm going to take it with a large pinch of (metaphorical) salt...after all, metaphorical salt can't be harmful.