Friday 30 October 2020

You Always Remember The First Time

Our first day at school; our first day at work; the first time we watched the sports team that we still follow, donkey’s years later. All memorable events, all occasions we remember to some degree or another.

 

I remember my first day at secondary school if only for one thing. At break time our teacher – Mrs Lovegrove – told us to go and get our milk before remembering that it was no longer provided to secondary school pupils thanks not, as you might imagine, to Margaret Thatcher (‘Thatcher, Thatcher, milk snatcher’ as the popular refrain dubbed her) but to Labour Secretary of State for Education and Science Edward Short. While Short withdrew it for secondary school pupils in 1968, Conservative Education Minister Mrs Thatcher took it from children over seven in 1971. Another Labour politician – Shirley Williams - did away with it for all children of school age in 1977.[1]      

 


This man stole my school milk.

I remember the first time I saw my team, Romford FC play. 10th February 1968, the opponents were Guildford City, and Romford won 1-0 (see my blog Romford 1 Manchester United 0).

 

I remember my first day at work, if only for my feelings of trepidation and the pale grey checked suit from Burton’s that I wore, with its near bell-bottomed trousers and lapels almost as wide as an aircraft carrier’s flight deck.

 

No matter how much - or how little - we remember of the first time we did something, we all knew at the time that it was the first time we had done that particular thing, whether we hated it or loved it.

 

The last time we do something can be very different.

 

There are some things that we know, when we do them, we will never do again; there are some we don’t.

 

We know, at the time we leave school, that that is the last time we’ll go there (as a pupil at least). We probably know the time we leave work for the last time. Some people may retire, or be made redundant and subsequently return to work, but we generally know when we have done our last day in a particular job, or with a particular employer.

 

There are some things that we never know at the time we do them, that we will never do again, and while some are relatively inconsequential, some are highly significant.

 

I remember in 1978, ten years after I had watched Romford play for the first time, that I went to their game against Aylesbury United not knowing that it would be the last time I saw them play. The club folded at the end of the 1977-78 season, and I did not manage to get to the last game the club played, which was at Folkestone, not that I would have known then that it would be the club’s last match either, as it was expected (or at least hoped) that the club would survive to compete in 1978-79.[2]

 

Supporters of football clubs like Bury, and Macclesfield Town will likewise have had no idea that a certain game they watched would be the last one in which they see their team play, in that particular guise anyway. The last game that Bury played was on 4th May 2019, and no one in the 6,719 crowd would have known that they may not see them play again (plans to relaunch the club are in the pipeline, but whether they will succeed is moot. A breakaway club – AFC Bury – have started playing, but they are a separate entity).

 

Bury supporters celebrate promotion in 2019. Will they ever see their team again?
Picture: Andy Whitehead

And, in light of the current pandemic that means that clubs from the Premier League down to the National League’s North and South divisions are having to play behind closed doors, none of the supporters of those 159 clubs can know with any certainty whether they will ever see them play in the flesh again.

 

In the grand scheme of things - and as important as sport is to so many millions of people - seeing your team play for the last time – whether you know it or not – is something you get over (any Bury supporters reading this might not believe it, but I assure you it’s true). Death, however is another matter.

 

We rarely know, when we see someone, that it will be the last time we see them alive. Christmas Day 2014 was the last time I saw my Mum. After lunch I took her home as she was feeling tired; she died of a heart attack a few days later. At least the last time I spent with her was a happy time for her, with the rest of the family. I didn’t get to speak to her again – we often went a few days without calling one another, nothing unusual or untoward in that – and of course I had no idea when I said goodbye to her that Christmas afternoon that we’d never see each other or speak again.

 

It is probably just as well that we don’t usually know, to be honest. I can’t imagine how sad and bewildering it would be to say goodbye to someone apparently in good health, knowing that you’d never see them again.

 

To return to less maudlin matters, all of us will have things we did before COVID that we may now wonder if we will ever do again. For me, that’s principally going to the BBC to see radio shows recorded, and going to gigs. I had twenty-odd gigs and shows booked for 2020, and I saw two before lockdown. The last time I went to the BBC was back in February for a recording of Brain of Britain.

 

Brain of Britain host Russell Davies

Have I been to the Radio Theatre at Broadcasting House for the last time? If I have, I certainly didn’t know it when I saw that recording of Brain of Britain. Have I been to my last gig? I hope not. The majority of the shows I was supposed to see in 2020 have been rescheduled, although I’m not particularly sanguine about the ones I have booked for April and May next year, and there are already shows in 2021 that have been put back to 2022. In an act of either optimism or stupidity, I bought a ticket this week for a gig in November 2021. I’m not sure if it will go ahead as scheduled; if I’m honest, I suspect not.

 

Joe Stilgoe's was the last live show I saw

I haven’t been to a pub since March or a restaurant since even longer. I haven’t been on a plane or to a different country for over a year. There are friends I haven’t seen for months, and don’t know when I’ll see them again. There are so many things that I haven’t done for so long that I’m beginning to wonder if I will ever do them again.

 

I’m not complaining, goodness knows I’m a lot better off than a lot of people in many, many ways, but I’ll be sad if there are things that I never get the opportunity to do again.



[1] If I hadn’t checked I would have just have assumed that my secondary school milk was a victim of Margaret Thatcher. It’s quite interesting that Labour was responsible for the withdrawal of milk from more children than Thatcher was, yet that she is the only one who gets mentioned when the subject crops up.

[2] A new Romford FC formed in 1992, and I’m watching them to this day, but technically it isn’t the same club.

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