Not So Angry Old Man

Everyone gets angry, but as Winston Churchill said, “...anger is a waste of energy. Steam which is used to blow off a safety valve would be better used to drive an engine.” All too often we - and I include myself here - get angry about things that either do not matter, or which we cannot change. As Richard Carlson says in Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, ask yourself the question, "Will this matter a year from now?" Often it won't matter tomorrow, or even in ten minutes time, let alone a year from now, so why waste the energy?

It is on the road that we encounter the most angry people, and it is on the road that we often get angry ourselves. We get angry about the inconsiderate, rude or downright dangerous actions of other road users, be it the driver who cuts us up or overtakes dangerously, or the cyclist who hurtles through a red light, or the pedestrian who crosses the road without care. And after our encounter with this selfish road user, we moan about it to whoever is in the car with us, we complain about it face to face with friends or family, and often we post about it on Facebook, where our friends 'Like' our post and add comments about similar incidents that have enraged them in the past. The anger might now be diluted, but still the incident is on our mind - and continues to be when we comment on other people's posts about similar things that have happened to them. And what good does this do us? None, to be honest, yet we still remember these events months or even years hence.

The flip side of course is that when we are on the road we will inevitably have other drivers sound their horn or gesticulate angrily at us. But why? We did nothing wrong, did we, so why are they angry? Of course we did nothing wrong, we are a safe and considerate driver. Except, who among us can really say we are perfect behind the wheel? Even the best of us may lose concentration or simply not see another motorist and perform some manoeuvre that they think is dangerous, so let's cut the other guy some slack and remember that they may not have done whatever we are aggrieved by deliberately, but simply through not thinking or seeing us. I'll concede that there are some lunatics on the road; inconsiderate, dangerous lunatics at that, but getting angry at them achieves nothing except impairing my concentration, so I'm trying to see them for what they are and ignoring them.

Justifiably, we get angry about poor service. Angry when our train is cancelled...again; angry when our mobile phone provider gets our bill wrong...again; angry when we get to the supermarket checkout to find that our card doesn't work because the payment system has gone down...again. But as angry as we get in these circumstances, and as reasonable as it may seem to vent that anger, it is important to remember that just as we should pick our battles, so should we pick our targets. It is not uncommon to see news reports on television from mainline railway stations, the concourse a sea of frustrated commuters, with irate passengers hurling invective at any unfortunate railway worker who is brave enough to be anywhere other than cowering under a desk. But the ire that is thrown at these men and women is misplaced; they didn't cancel the trains and it is not within their power to reinstate them. Similarly, when Asda's payment system went down a few Sundays ago, there were reports of customers, unable to pay for their trolley loads of shopping, swearing and cursing at the girls - and it was often teenage girls - on the checkouts. The targets of the shoppers' anger were neither responsible for the problem nor the solution and the rabid mob who harangued them may have felt temporarily better having vented their spleen but achieved nothing apart from upsetting someone innocent of any offence.

I will make an exception about getting angry about mobile phone companies - or, come to that, anyone else with whom one's contact is via a call centre, although mobile phone companies, internet service providers and other media suppliers seem to be similarly frequent offenders. It is ironic that companies like Vodafone, TalkTalk, Sky, Virgin Media et al, whose business is communication are actually poor communicators, both with their customers and within their organisations. Perhaps the biggest problem that we, the consumers of these company's services face, is getting problems fixed. Once you have got through the interminable phone menu and listened to some execrable piece of music for ten minutes, you explain your problem, are promised that it will be resolved and hang up, with the inevitable sense of foreboding that this is not the end of your problems, but merely the beginning. And so it proves, as the problem - be it loss of service or an incorrect monthly bill - is repeated and having gone through the same rigmarole - the interminable phone menu and the same execrable piece of music - you speak to another customer service adviser, who promises to fix your problem. They don't and very soon you are going through the same process again...and again...and again. In my experience it usually takes as much effort to do something badly as it does to do it well, so why can't these companies get it right? As much as I believe in picking your target, at not haranguing people who genuinely are impotent to help you, I repeat, I will make an exception for being angry at call centres when you've had shoddy service.

Apart from angry stories about experiences with other road users, Facebook is also a vehicle for our spleen venting about other issues that have angered us. Whether it is social injustice, government policy, Brexit, or Donald Trump, people are angry. People are angry about the behaviour of the owners of the football clubs they support, people are angry about people posting pictures of their dinners: people are angry full stop. And often they have a right to be angry, but impotent rage is corrosive, negative and ultimately frustrating. Fortunately, a lot of people who are angry form, or join protest groups and directing anger into a positive force for change - where change can be actioned - is generally a good thing.

Anger is not always a bad thing, as long as the energy it generates is translated into actions that address the cause of the anger . Personally, I'm endeavouring not to be an angry old man - at least, not without good cause and not without doing something about it.