"I'm on the phone!"

A story emerged last week about a woman who was refused service in her local Sainsbury’s supermarket because she was talking on her mobile phone, (see here for the full story). In a nutshell, Jo Clarke, 26, was at the Sainsbury’s branch in Crayford, south-east London, when she was ordered to hang up before she would be served. According to Ms Clarke, it was implied by the unnamed Sainsbury’s employee that it was company policy not to serve customers who were on their phones. Sainsbury’s later said that they had no such policy, apologised to Ms Clarke and offered her some vouchers. Following an outbreak of outrage on Twitter, Facebook and the like, Sainsbury’s have decided not to discipline the unnamed assistant, although presumably have not rescinded their voucher offer to Ms Clarke.

As with all stories like this that make the newspapers, it probably isn’t quite as simple as it first appears. It is not in dispute that Ms Clarke was talking on her mobile; it is not in dispute that the cashier asked her to end her call before she would be served. It is not in dispute that Sainsbury’s do not have a policy of refusing service to customers who are using their phones. What we do not appear to know however, is the tone of the exchange between the Sainsbury’s employee and Ms Clarke.  Was the cashier rude? Was Ms Clarke condescending towards the cashier? We don’t know and in some ways it doesn’t matter, because the bigger truth that comes out of the story, if we didn’t already know it, is that mobile phones have become so all pervasive in our lives that many people are completely addicted to them, and their use of them in certain situations provokes quite strong reactions in other people.

Telephone etiquette is interesting and there are lots of different opinions on the matter. One of my bugbears, and this applies to all phones, not just mobile phones, comes when I am dealing face to face with someone and their phone rings. Inevitably they will answer their phone, leaving me to stew while they attend to the person on the other end of the phone. If the matter that the call is about is more important, then perhaps this is acceptable, otherwise it is queue jumping and in my view, plain rude of them to deal with the caller at my expense. Oddly, if were they on the phone and I tried to interrupt them, I’d likely get short shrift and they would continue with their call. A phone call, it seems, is always more important than a face-to-face conversation.

"Look, I've got a phone! Must shout to make myself heard!"

Debrett’s have a section on mobile phone etiquette on their website: It may be a little quaint in places and blindingly obvious in others, but it is worth a read. Particularly apposite to the matter which prompted me to write this, it says “Don't carry on mobile phone calls while transacting other business - in banks, shops, on buses and so on. It is insulting not to give people who are serving you your full attention.”

I suppose that in many ways I sympathise with the Sainsbury’s employee in Ms Clarke’s case, although they perhaps were a bit officious in refusing service until the call was ended, because unless the phone call was really important, there was no reason why it could not be ended or at least interrupted, while the transaction at the till took place. It is discourteous to the cashier and other shoppers patiently waiting to be served, to continue the call and likely delay matters. As an example, I was recently in the queue in the Post Office and in front of me was a young woman who was on the phone. She continued her conversation when she got to the counter (she was posting a parcel). The counter clerk took the parcel, affixed the stamp and charged the customer, who then asked, “Is that guaranteed delivery tomorrow?” “No,” replied the counter clerk, “you didn’t ask for that.” “Well, I want it delivered tomorrow,” the customer responded. So the original transaction was cancelled and a new one conducted, inconveniencing the counter clerk and holding up the other customers and all because the young lady’s telephone conversation was apparently more important than giving the face to face transaction her full attention.

A lot has been written about people using their phones on trains and a lot of the conversations I used to have no option but to listen to when I was a commuter were pretty inconsequential, but obviously people have every right to talk to other people on their phone when they are on the train, but I admit that I found it annoying, because I could not seem to tune them out. Two people sitting opposite me and chatting away I could ignore and concentrate on reading my book; somehow, however I could not seem to ignore the person on the phone. OK, it is more my problem than theirs, but it perhaps explains why I do not like talking on the phone when I am on a bus or a train; I just want to get the conversation out of the way because I feel that it will be aggravating other passengers who have to hear it, which means I can come across as a trifle brusque. (If you ever phone me and I appear a little terse, then I’m probably on public transport and feeling a little self-conscious).   

Another thing that riles me is people playing music through the speaker on their phones. Have you noticed that it is never music you yourself would listen to? Why do they have to play it so loud? And why can’t these people use headphones?

I suppose that I should not be too sanctimonious on the matter as I am something of a fidget with my own mobile. When I worked and had a company BlackBerry, I would check it frequently and with both it and my personal mobile I suffer the phantom call/text/email syndrome whereby I am frequently sure it has rung or bleeped and have to check it only to find that there was no incoming message or call.

While there is no doubt that mobile phones are now integral to most people’s lives and, for many people essential, we all probably know one or two people who don’t have them and don’t we consider them eccentric?  

The last working phone box in England continues to do a roaring trade.

Life was simpler before mobile phones, but those of us of certain age will remember searching for a public telephone in an emergency, how we would be stranded on a broken down train unable to let friends or family know we were safe but delayed and we wouldn’t want to return to those days, but perhaps we all ought to remember that mobile phones should be a means to an end; they should not end up ruling our lives and their convenience to us should not be an inconvenience to others.